We have a neighbor who lives across the street from us here at the Coffee Plantation, and who - aside from being an ex-Parrothead
- is also the fiercely prideful owner of a blood red H1 Hummer.
This auto, this mini-me, "leggo of me ego," star-strangled, oedipus complexual, "look at me, world, I am worried about having a small..." vehicle
is parked/squatting right in front of the Coffee Plantation. "Squatting" becauses it has been in the same location for as long as we have been here. In seven months, it has moved less than ten times (and then quickly replaced with a lesser-type car, a "place holder" for a few hours until the H1 returns). Besides being grossly over-sized, unused and out-of-place, it as a generic eyesore and a nuisance to any number of our neighbors and customers.
But that's the way it goes. Naturally, as Coffee Plantation is a coffee shop, this waaay
-oversized for the Island Hummer-truck is becoming a topic of conversation at the Coffee shop. For some, it's their dream car they would love to drive...if they were, say, part of a fighting force, or even a wildlife ranger fighting woodsy fires and out-of-reach blazes. But for most people who visit the Coffee Plantation, the response is generally less enthusiastic. Something along the lines of "Who needs a car that size?," or "How rude to park a truck that size in front of someone else's front porch," or even more frequently, "Isn't that a shame considering there's a war going on over oil?"
But because it rarely ever moves, the truck is relatively harmlees as an affront to our fighting sons and daughters. So rather than get in a stew about the dumb thing, we took it in stride. The blood red truck was being used in our CP advertisements, as in "Come visit The Coffee Plantation, located just behind the red Hummer truck." We have even been considering creating a few coffee drinks named after the truck, such as . . .
Red Hummer = coffee, 2 shots of espresso, milk, and a shot of Cranberry flavor....
The Hummy = same thing as above but frozen (hmmm!)
Except that the free Hummer parking days are numbered! Over! No More!
After tomorrow, no more free parking in front of the Coffee Plantation. The city of Key West is putting in parking meters! As in 25-cents for every ten minutes! Not that that's good news, but it does mean that Mister "Make Mine Macho" Hummerman finally has to remove his (overly) prized possession. In any case, tomorrow it's going to have to move! Hooray! Hopefully, he'll sell it and get something more practical for Key West. Like a bicycle. (Diane bikes to work everyday herself.)
So, everyone, "Come visit The Coffee Plantation, located just behind where the red Hummer truck used to be