PLUTONIAN REFUGEES INVADE KEY WEST AND FANTASY FEST '06

Key West, The Conch Republic - Refugees from the deposed planet Pluto have descended in droves upon the island of Key West. Great extraterrestrial vehicles (ETVs) have landed carrying somewhat lost but festive Plutonian refugees. Additionally, the refugees have made it clear the reason they chose Key West is because of the island's much-ballyhooed Fantasy Fest celebration.

"We heard about the party," says one Plutonian (who identified himself as "G'rakk"), "Some of us were upset about being declared a non-planet, but most of us were just tired of living on a cold, fringe-y, and dark rock with a diameter even less than the earth's moon.

[The diameter of Pluto is 1400 miles, while earth's moon is 2000 miles.]

Local residents and business's alike have taken to the other-worldly visitors. "Not only are they very fond of us, they're good tippers," says Diane Glorie, co-owner of Key West's Coffee Plantation, "Plus, it's really nice to see glow-in-the-dark silver humanoids around the street at night. [The Plutonian's] natural luminescence is a real energy-saver."

Federal agents, as well as a number of acclaimed scientists and researcher, as well as the merely curious, have followed on the Plutonians footsteps, and the entire island is abuzz with talk and excitement. "The difference between Key West and Roswell, New Mexico," stated Theo Glorie, of Key West's Coffee Plantation, "is that they have second-hand reports of aliens, while Key West has drunken extraterrestrials with three breasts, and inter-galactic charge accounts."