Humm.....err
We have a neighbor who lives across the street from us here at the Coffee Plantation, and who - aside from being an ex-Parrothead - is also the fiercely prideful owner of a blood red H1 Hummer.This auto, this mini-me, "leggo of me ego," star-strangled, oedipus complexual, "look at me, world, I am worried about having a small..." vehicle is parked/squatting right in front of the Coffee Plantation. "Squatting" becauses it has been in the same location for as long as we have been here. In seven months, it has moved less than ten times (and then quickly replaced with a lesser-type car, a "place holder" for a few hours until the H1 returns). Besides being grossly over-sized, unused and out-of-place, it as a generic eyesore and a nuisance to any number of our neighbors and customers.
But that's the way it goes. Naturally, as Coffee Plantation is a coffee shop, this waaay-oversized for the Island Hummer-truck is becoming a topic of conversation at the Coffee shop. For some, it's their dream car they would love to drive...if they were, say, part of a fighting force, or even a wildlife ranger fighting woodsy fires and out-of-reach blazes. But for most people who visit the Coffee Plantation, the response is generally less enthusiastic. Something along the lines of "Who needs a car that size?," or "How rude to park a truck that size in front of someone else's front porch," or even more frequently, "Isn't that a shame considering there's a war going on over oil?"
But because it rarely ever moves, the truck is relatively harmlees as an affront to our fighting sons and daughters. So rather than get in a stew about the dumb thing, we took it in stride. The blood red truck was being used in our CP advertisements, as in "Come visit The Coffee Plantation, located just behind the red Hummer truck." We have even been considering creating a few coffee drinks named after the truck, such as . . .
Red Hummer = coffee, 2 shots of espresso, milk, and a shot of Cranberry flavor....
The Hummy = same thing as above but frozen (hmmm!)
Except that the free Hummer parking days are numbered! Over! No More!
After tomorrow, no more free parking in front of the Coffee Plantation. The city of Key West is putting in parking meters! As in 25-cents for every ten minutes! Not that that's good news, but it does mean that Mister "Make Mine Macho" Hummerman finally has to remove his (overly) prized possession. In any case, tomorrow it's going to have to move! Hooray! Hopefully, he'll sell it and get something more practical for Key West. Like a bicycle. (Diane bikes to work everyday herself.)
So, everyone, "Come visit The Coffee Plantation, located just behind where the red Hummer truck used to be."
posted by Coffee Plantation, Key West at 5:31 AM
3 Comments:
"This permit was established for residents who reside in the downtown business district who have no access to off street parking and parking meters within the block they reside. This permit allows you to park at any meter within the block you reside."
(http://www.keywestcity.com/depts/parking/parking.asp)
Mr. Hummerman may already have such a permit. I think I've seen it in the window of his vehicle.
Bikes are better!
I don't see why anyone needs a car on this Island, other then to leave said Island. Seems like a bit of a waste to have a boxster only to have it sit in the driveway and dive around a few miles.
Someone should look into those car-less city models for Key West.
The loud motorcycles and the people who think the scooter horn is cute to beep at each other a thousand times down Duval and Truman are a little nerve grating.
Unless I'm missing something not mentioned in your recent post, perhaps something offensive the owner of this vehicle was guilty of, it seems like you're overeracting a bit to a vehicle that is legally parked in front of your business.
From what I gather from other posts on your site, you were drawn to Key West because of what you sensed as an island-life style, often parapharsed as laid back, live-and-let-live, etc.
Sure, a lipstick red Hummer may not be your choice in transport, I wouldn't own one but that's my choice and if I do own one I gotta put it somewhere. I'd probably park in front of my house too. Who knows what's considered used or unused. Until Wilma I had a unrestored '72 VW van as my second vehicle that ran great but I used infrequently and remained parked (across the street from my home) for days or sometimes weeks depending on my needs, I think it was a credit to the tolerance of my Bahama Village neigbors that no one ever suggested in was not my right to keep and use the vehicle as I pleased. I think "abandoned" would constitute a nuisance, not one that runs and I assume has tags and insurance.
And who is to say what's really out of place here and becomes a "generic eyesore" that needs to be ridiculed or even removed from our sight: is it a conch train, a shrimp boat, half a dozen six-foot-plus transvestites on a corner on Duval Street, a guy who balances a washing machine on his forehead for a living, a McMansion going up in the meadows?
This tiny island has traditionally embraced (or at least tolerated) the eccentricities of others and It appears someone is in a "stew" about this and this begs the question, what's more out of place on our island, that car, or your narrow-minded rant. I know you too are entitled to your opinion but is it really in good taste to put your own pseudo-psychological analysis of the man's motives for choosing a certain kind of car on your blog for all to read. Is your speculation of the man's supposed feelings of inadequecy really the best and highest use of your blog and in what light does that present your business.
And, not for nothing, wasn't the car there when you got there. I mean, at least give him that. For someone in their new digs just seven months it seems a bit cheeky not only to tell someone where they can park but what kind of vehicle they deem acceptable to be seen parked there or what mode of transport they should use. Because Diane bikes to work every day does that mean we all have to?
This gives me the same kind of feeling I got thirty years ago when a well-known New York clothing designer bought a home on Eaton Street and promptly bought the house across the street just so he could paint it a color that would not clash with the view he got from his house.
To you I say, "Welcome to Key West but maybe you need to switch to decaf".
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